email from one of Mona's friends, who used to work in McLean Hospital. This friend sent this email after Mona's death to all their friends. We are grateful for their friendship, and for caring about mona daniella.

In this email we became aware this friend knew Mona had tried to hang herself on Friday night (September 23, 2016) and feels guilty about it. We do not blame this friend. Absolutely not. This friend was not Mona's therapist. We will always be grateful for this person's friendship to Mona. It is a pity that we cannot speak with this friend as McLean Hospital has instructed everyone not to talk to us (as one of Mona's friends told us).
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We do blame Dr. Carlene MacMillan who was fully aware that Mona had tried to hang herself that Friday night and DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING besides texting Mona to go to the ER, and LIE to them: instead of telling the staff about having tried to hang herself, Dr. MacMillan wrote Mona to "say she had thought about doing it". How unprofessional , and unethical is that? We were not told by either doctor about Mona having tried to hang herself on Friday night.
Why not?
​We believe this is another reason why both doctors wanted Mona's writings, iPhone, iPad, laptop under the guise they had been instructed by Mona to get them if she died. To begin with, if a patient tells this to a doctor, shouldn't that doctor do something? Actually this was their LIE to try to cover up their negligence and malpractice throughout the year which was documented in SMS texts and emails exchanges in thousands of pages. It did not work. We read those texts and were horrified by what we read. We showed to a forensic psychiatrist and to detectives. And sued the doctors for negligence and malpractice based on what we were told about those texts (from multiple phone numbers from the doctors, another odd thing.)

​This friend did not know the real nature of Drs. Carlene MacMillan and Owen Scott Muir, or else she would not have had such an impression of them.
Below the email please read an SMS text exchange between Mona and Dr. Carlene MacMillan where Mona wrote how an issue "EXPOSED THE WEAKNESSES IN HER THERAPY. IT SHOWED ME OWEN'S TRUE COLORS. AND YOURS." Mona was heartbroken, she had been betrayed.

THE EMAIL MONA'S FRIEND SENT TO ALL THEIR FRIENDS:
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Okay, I know this has taken a while, since Mona died on Sunday into Monday morning. I also had the pleasure of speaking with Mona's mother on Friday night for over five hours. 

I am getting a lot of questions/comments/concerns etc.
This is what happened on my end of things. Mona and I have continued to stay in touch since we met years ago. We were very much a like yet so different as well. We worked well together and had a great friendship. She is a brilliant woman who I could go to with questions and vice versa. Over the years, Mona got comfortable with sharing her illness details with  me. For those that know Mona, probably already know this information. When she was at McLean, she struggled for years. People dismissed her, staff wouldn't work for her. She was continually wrongly diagnosed. McLean did the roundabout thing with her. Having her parents dish out endless amounts of money for private programs, all based upon a misdiagnosis. In and out of 3east and then transferring over to the adult units. Many women know her from proctor 2. After she moved back to New York, one of the treaters from McLean (Carlene MacMillan) also moved there. She stayed with that doctor and her husband. They were a great team and Mona started receiving the appropriate treatment.  Mona was also properly diagnosed once arriving and settling in New York. I am not going to go into diagnostic information as I deem that irrelevant other than it being the cause of her death. 

Mona struggled with being told so many different diagnoses, that by the time the right ones arrived, she was exhausted. And rightfully so. Many of us know this battle and the energy it takes to survive one day.

Mona was able to reach out to me in good times and at the worst times. I talked to her when she was stuck in many dangerous, suicidal situations. I was able to convince her to keep living and fighting....but that can only last so long. She needed to want it. Mona suffered terribly day in and day out. Lots of days planning suicidal methods, tweaking and deciding how she could just end it all. I fought back and forth with her for years trying to keep her in this world. I knew she did not want to die but needed an escape for the demons that haunted her.

Mona was a beautiful woman in so many ways. She was radiant when she spoke about all the children she worked with. Her brain limit was endless. Her knowledge was profound and her understanding for others was never ending. Mona went out of her way to help any and everyone. Anyone who encountered her can attest to this. She was always smiling despite the pain that kept eating away at her. She always would put others first despite fighting to stay alive. Her talents are not listable because of the quantity of them. 

Over the past year, things continued to progress, sometimes in a negative direction. She would get very suicidal and end up in other hospitals in New York. Some bad things happened at those places, not due to the fact that McLean is the "Ritz Carlton". She longed to go back to P2 but knew it was nothing but a revolving door. The hospital's in New York did not give her that sense of safety that McLean continues to feed you to keep you coming in and out. Many of her stays at the hospitals in New York were short lived and very traumatic. To my knowledge the most recent plan that was put in place with her treaters, was when she got to the point of acting on plans of suicide, she would go to the ER, "cool off and go home the next morning if the feelings had passed"- That was one of the last things she said to me.

So with this plan set in place, this is where my role became more pronounced during the events that transpired. On Friday, I had sent Mona a text, I believe, just saying hi and checking in. She told me she had intentions of jumping off a building and ending it that night. I proceeded to pick up the phone and call her. The next bit got a little messy on both ends because her phone had 2% battery. Other times, I knew what roof she was on. This time I did not. I could only rely on her to get herself to safety. As her phone was dying, I tried one last ditch effort of telling her to just go inside and call me from a landline so we could finish our conversation. I told her she could then continue to go back on to the roof. 

My hope was from the landline, I would be able to track her. With her cellphone dead, I had no hope. Luckily, she was smart in turning it off bc when she turned it back on several minutes later, she was able to call back. Like Mona, always caring about others, she chose not to jump because "too many people could see" and she did not want to traumatize them. She went home and we chatted on the phone and after an hour we were back to our normal conversation as if that incident never even happened. (This scenario minus the phone dying had happened several times- so I had a sense of when things where escalating and not). 

I felt I made a bad judgement call because to me it seemed like things de-escalated so I did not take further action. In retrospect, I know better and should have moved forward. She sounded happy, was talking and asking about me. She sounded better....or so I thought. The next morning, I got a text about her trying to hang herself and being really disappointed it didn't work. She told me "she would be making the modifications to fix it". At this point, I knew I made a bad judgement call the night before. She quickly got whisked away to the ER where she spent the next (or about 24) hrs. Once in the ER, we spoke back and forth on text and she was looking forward to getting out of there the next morning. I thought in a positive way. I thought the feelings had passed and she would press on. I do not know what time she was discharged and I do know that some people are saying her father was there with her. She did not mention to me on Saturday anything about her father being there but I speak only from my perspective and the facts I know. 

Sunday mid-day, I had a medical flare and had to go to the ER to deal with getting IV medication. I was in extreme pain and unable to do anything, let alone look at my phone. To my knowledge Mona was safe. She was at the ER, she would be discharged if feeling ready and able and that I would talk to her the next day. After being in the ER until 3 am, I got up and went to work at 6am. For those that know me, my job right now is completely taking every minute of my time. I proceeded to work monday and come home and fall asleep due to being up for many hours and then get up Tuesday to repeat. 

It took me until I got home Tuesday to check my messages because I was so tied up with work. (Enter more guilt there). I got the message that she hung herself. I didn't believe it. I thought it was a sick joke. I refused to believe it. I called her phone....I waited for her to answer...in my mind she was not dead and couldn't be. I left her and she was safe and when I return she was gone- How could that be. All I know is somewhere in the span of when I was in the ER, she chose to relieve herself of all the pain and suffering she was enduring. She had ended it. AND I DID NOT KNOW UNTIL TUESDAY. Clearly, I lost it, immediately blamed myself for my actions from Friday forward. I felt this was on my watch. That I made a bad judgement call Friday. I should have known better and got her committed. I shouldn't have taken her attempt on Saturday as a failure to die. I felt like I should have been able to save her. In reality, that is not possible. If some one is set on killing themselves (in my experience), they will make it happen. And that is exactly what she did. I do not believe she wanted to die. It was the diagnosis that she was dealing with that killed her.

 I am at a loss for words, frankly I do not even know if it has fully been processed that she isn't with us any longer. To me, she didn't deserve to lose the rest of her life. But that is not my decision to make. Some say I saved her life for two more days....some say I saved her life on multiple occasions but it all comes back to the fact that she is now gone. And not coming back....There is no saving....There is no Mona. 

Mona will live on forever in my heart. At some point this may sink in or not. I am not sure what the future holds. I feel lucky that my job distracts me but as soon as work is over, the first image that pops in my head is her face. I can't pretend anymore. This is real and this is life. 

So if you read this, and you are struggling fight on, reach out....please realize how many people this is affecting. Please think about it before you kill yourself, there are so many people out there that do care about you no matter how small your world is. Many of you could say I am a hypocrite and I do not understand. But I do. I tried to take my own life. I have been there. I was there many times. It took me so long to want to live after realizing the life I was brought up in and the demons that I have to fight mentally and physically every damn day. I know when the world closes in and the only option is out. But that will not stop me fighting to keep people alive because maybe one day those demons get smaller...I don't know. I know I want to live and I want to keep fighting....many years ago, I couldn't say that. I will fight and keep fighting in respect of Mona. Her bows and slippers, her smile and kindness- that will never leave my mind. 

Please if you have questions/comments/etc be courteous in the way you ask. Be gentle with her family and friends. Let them reach out when they are ready. I know just for me it was really hard to sit down and write this. I knew I wanted to because I know and her mother knows that her soul lives on forever. 

I am thankful for having Mona in my life and the many memories that were made. If you would like to follow along, her family has made a tumblr account- 
~ Mona's Friend